At the end of every year, I reflect and think about the year ahead. This year, I am thinking about motivations.

What is driving our motivations? Are we being driven more by scarcity or abundance?

Scarcity is — “not enough” and “there is not enough”. Scarcity is — “I am not enough until I have [ ], until I have reached [ ], until I have achieved [ ]”. Scarcity is — “I am not complete and whole until I have [ ]”. The flaw in scarcity patterns of thinking is that the goalposts are forever moving. As one is nearing one finish-line, it evaporates, and another one appears somewhere else.

Abundance is — “enough” and “there is enough”. Abundance is — being complete and whole as one is. Abundance is — self-assuredness and confidence in one’s self, and one’s place and journey. Abundance is — pursuing aspirations and improvement, from a foundation of knowing and embracing one’s self.

Scarcity is — fear, tension, nervous, closed off, judgmental, fear of judgment, dismissive, seeking perfection, insatiable. Abundance is — lightness, grace, strength, courage, unforced persistence, being open, acceptance, forgiveness, allowing oneself to enjoy the present.

In the last few years, I have made some major personal breakthroughs in re-wiring my patterns of thinking. I think a rite-of-passage of real adulthood is to examine and renew one’s patterns of thinking. Most of the time, they are unintentionally carried over from our upbringings. Learning to think in new ways is not a one-time process — it asks for consistent and repeated effort. We seek comfort in what we know. But what we already know may not be how we aspire to be.

Past me used to aspire to be “fiercely independent”. I used to think it was “me against the world”. That I was an independent being, trying to make myself in the world. At times, I put walls up. At times, I let scarcity colour my lens of the world.

In more recent years — particularly after my dad’s passing, I realised that was not the best way to think and be. I am not independent — I am a part of a larger abundant experience. I am a part of the people around me, and the people I haven’t met yet. I am just one in the flow of many now. I am one in the flow of the generations before me. I am one here because of the disciplines of humankind developed before me — of science, philosophy, language, history, medicine, art, family, love, to name a few.

Gratitude is a necessary foundation of a good life. Past me would not have been able to fully grasp this. Now I am more aware of this each day.

We are the lucky ones. This is a reminder to myself to live with abundance and gratitude.